Smitten by the Donut
by ForeverPalz
Summary: This is the official word from my mouth. Yup, I’m sadly smitten by the donut. A twoshot, eccentric Loliver.
1. Me, Truscott

This is the official word from the mouth of old Truscott- I'm sadly smitten by the donut. Why sadly, you may wonder. Well, it's not as if I can help it. It's disgusting. The donut is a person I've known all my life. He's my best friend. But alas! What can I do? Destiny has played a very cruel trick on me. The hand of fate has made a whole new perspective for me now. A whole new dimension to look at. To look from. Confusing, isn't it? Allow me to explain.

The donut apparently and unfortunately happens to be the very person I hate and like most in this universe. Wretchedly, it's Oliver Oken. The pure, original donut. The complete idiot who has me in his inexorable trap without even his knowing it. The clueless idiot. The ironical divine intervention of mine. Who would ever imagine, who would even dare to dream that Lilly, of all people, actually cared to glance at him more than once? Never in anyone's wildest imagination, let alone, the donut's, would that ever happen. I mean, why me? Why should I go all crazy when someone even mentions the donut? And yet why do I take such pleasure in ticking him off? Aargh!!! Ah well. On with the dialogues.

My other best friend, Miley Stewart slash Hannah Montana and I were hanging out at Rico's Surf Shop, licking on our favourite Vanilla Wonder sundaes.

"You know, actually, I don't think straight hair suits me," Miley was murmuring to herself, and there I was sitting beside her, poor me, almost nodding off. Straight hair or curly, the main point was to have hair, wasn't it? What difference did it make, anyway? _Girls!_

Wait a minute. I'm a girl. Right? So how come I don't care? Weird me.

And Miley continued, "You know...it's really time to change my Hannah wig's colour...don't you think so, Lilly?"

I started. "Oh. Yeah...Sure..." I mumbled stupidly. Brainless me.

And then came the thunderbolt. Who else but the wicked, the cruel donut walked towards us ever so amiably, and clumsy me, I dropped my sundae on the sand.

"My sundae!" I wailed. Nobody save me even glanced at the poor frozen beauty, lying on the ground, layered with sand.

"Hi guys," greeted the donut, a.k.a Oliver Oken a.k.a my best friend.

"Hey Oliver," came a fuzzy mutter from Miley, who was too immersed in her own beauty to even look up.

Gawky me, on the other hand, I just replied as chirpily as I can, "Hey donut!" and got a punch on my back in return. Some gratitude.

"Heard the new scoop? Amber is actually transferring from Malibu High School!" Oliver said in a constrained voice, apparently trying to control his joy.

That finally made Miley look up and both of us squealed a "What?!", jumping up in glee. Finally some good news. Ah.

Oliver grinned. "It's true, ladies!"

"Oliver! Where did you get this news from?!" Miley asked eagerly.

"Oh I have my sources," he replied smugly.

I rolled my eyes. Of course Oliver was pulling our legs. "Shut up, donut. You made this up, didn't you?" I snapped.

My idiot looked dismayed. "Lilly! It wouldn't have killed you to play along for some more time!" he grumbled and gave me another punch.

Miley's face fell. "Oliver, you liar! For a moment I felt so happy!" I laughed out loud. Not because I found anything funny. But because my doofus did not even know how to spin the simplest yarn. Poor thing.

And then I blurted out the weirdest thing a Truscott could ever say - an advice! "Tricking someone is an art. You need to master it." When did I ever advise someone, least of all Oliver?! It was me who needed advice, wasn't it?

"Thanks a lot, I needed that," he sneered with sarcasm. The bulb.

"Hey, I heard that Travis actually swallowed a cockroach," said Miley, referring to our daredevil classmate.

And my donut went on a rant about Travis The Cockroach Eater.

And I listened.

Not really.

I gazed.

Wondering why on earth do I like such an idiot so much.

Wondering what on earth made me fall for my best friend, the donut.

My destiny, I guess.


	2. Me, Oken

**A/N: This was initially supposed to be a oneshot, but I decided to make it a twoshot. So...how's it? Should I continue it into a fully-fledged story? Or is it better if I leave it at this? I'm desperately awaiting your reviews...meanwhile, please check out my other stories too...longing for more reviews there as well! **

**Well, less blabbering, more story!! **

* * *

Oh, _now_ I've had it! This is me, old Oken, signing in into my journal. 

And I can't believe what I'm actually gonna ink down.

No, I won't write it down.

But I have to. Something urges me to write this down.

Well...here it is, though I can't believe I just admitted this to myself-

_I'm sadly smitten by the donut._

Who's the donut, you may wonder. As dim you may be, I sit here patiently, totally willing to expand that one sentence up there. The crazy, totally unbelievable truth is that I have inexplicably fallen for my best friend, Lilly Truscott. Ironic, I know. Since she's _my_ donut. The person who's rather fondly known as _the_ donut. Although I too happen to have the same nickname.

See? We even have the same nicknames!

Confusing, I know. But my head is just a whirlwind of crazy thoughts. Confusions. Choices. Come on, how is it earthly possible to fall for the person you hate and love the most?? This mess is seriously too much for a mere fourteen year old like me. I wonder who on earth, or rather, what on earth made this happen. All of a sudden, I find myself joking and talking a bit too loudly, or maybe laughing a bit too much for the occasion, or maybe desperately trying to calm my insides which happen to be jumping madly, just at the mere sight of old Truscott! And yet, I enjoy it so when I throw insults at her and see her get all bothered and furious.

Anyway, on with the happenings.

My other best friend, Miley Stewart slash Hannah Montana, sat outside Rico's, licking on the yummiest ice cream ever in the whole world. Beside her was-guess who? My li'l donut, licking an identical ice cream.

I ambled up to them as cheerfully as I could, trying my utter best not to even glance at the girl in white tees and cargos beside Miley. The poor girl, her ice cream fell on the sand and nobody gave a hoot. Including me, because if I did, then _someone _would probably smell a rat.And that meant, of course, my donut.

You don't know how tough it was restraining myself from going up to her and comforting her, saying that it will be alright, that I'll most willingly buy her another ice cream, and her hugging me and sobbing into my chest, and me patting her head...

EW!!! How did I even _think_ of that???

Oh, the quirk of my fate!!

Back to the happenings.

And then came the greetings. Lilly, of course, piped up a chirpy "Hey donut!", and I summoned up my courage and gave her a punch in return.

Stupid me. I couldn't even find a proper retort.

So, to collect myself and make it seem as though I'm all cool even though I was getting all sweaty and tingly, I made up the worst joke ever to hit this planet- that Amber was transferring from Malibu High School.

Miley, being the clueless, girly one, jumped up at once, all excited. But of course, my donut, as sharp as ever, caught me and my stupid yarn. Ouch.

And then she did the weirdest thing- she gave me an advice on how to trick. It went something like, "Tricking is an art", blah blah blah.  
But I didn't listen. I just gazed. At her.

Boy, what am I saying??? This is old Oken, for crying out loud!! Get a grip on yourself, Oliver!!

But I have to admit, it was refreshing to see some sensible words escape her. Because she, being the ditzy skater she is, is usually full of wild theories and madcap chats. But that's who she is, and that's what makes her so lovable.

_Lovable_? Her? Ew.

See what I mean when I say I'm in two minds? A part of me hates her like mad, and a part of me...well...I just _cannot_ write that down!!! I must not!!! But you know what I mean.

Wait. Who am I convincing? A silly old journal?

Weird me.

Ah well.

Anyway, then I shot back some sarcastic reply. And then, Miley _had_ to distract me with the amazing adventures of Travis the Cockroach Eater. Oh man, was this annoying or what!

But I played along. Actually, I didn't exactly play along, I kinda enjoyed it. Heck, I'm a guy and guys are more interested in cockroach eaters than...you know...donuts.

But I'm not.

Am I?

Oh, whoever it is who is playing this very cruel trick on me, will you stop it now??? I'm being torn apart!!

So anyway, I could tell the poor donut was really getting bored. But she didn't open her mouth. I guess she preferred to sit there, hands cupping her chin, gazing at me.

Wait. Did I say gazing? Why was she gazing? And that too, at me? Hmm...

Maybe...

No way!!

Aargh!!!! I'm really getting puzzled and frustrated!!

Will you stop it???

You refers to whoever is trying to tear my mind apart.

Who am I convincing again???

Oh man!! I'm actually stuck here writing complete, utter nonsense in my good-for-nothing yellowing journal!!!This whole crazy donut obsession is really winding me up!!!

Wait. It's not just an obsession. It's...ew...can't even get myself to write this down. But I think you can figure it out on your own.

Well, I hope you enjoy witnessing a tormented guy lamenting. But I wasn't actually lamenting, was I? I was...grumbling. About being smitten by the complete donut.

My destiny, I guess.


End file.
